Monday, July 31, 2006
Gid's right. I've got too much on my mind.
And BENN! Stop telling me to learn a bass unless you know where I can learn one! RAWR. ;D
STORMcity!;
- 9:07 am
Sunday, July 30, 2006
Somehow I feel really drained, and really tired. I'm not sure about how I feel, and I just wanna sleep through this week. I don't wanna wake up to those days where I have to feel so loserish and clumsy. I don't wanna see those looks from people, I don't wanna be a person who steals people.
Whatever that means. I know, but you don't.
Why am i always the wrecker? Breaking up things, relationships without even knowing it. And then someone will end up hating me.
It's not very fair. and then there's this excitement to see someone but you're not sure if it's really excitement or dread. Because any moment you could just slip out your feelings and then everything will be the same from the other time. And once again, I'll be a stealer. I don't wanna take anymore risks. Because you never know what may happen. And then when you know you're a stealer and you know you have to stop. And that's when you know, there'll never really be anyone there for you.
And don't tell me it's thief or robber, because I want it to be stealer.
Everything's messed up. When you wanna tell someone what you feel, but you're scared. That things will end up like the other time. Sometimes you see it there. But later, when you look back, it all seems like an illusion. Like, you're loserish. She's EVERYTHING.
I'm not gonna take anymore risks. Not gonna let anything out, not gonna be so overrated and like someone else over again. Cuz i know, I'll end up the same. everything will be the same scenario. And I'll feel stupid and lousy all over again.
No more risks, no more wrecking-without-even-knowing-it. IT'S ALL GOTTA STOP, XUE.
I need Him so much right now.
STORMcity!;
- 9:48 am
There's nothing like showering to refresh you. I took this really long bath when I got home, and it was better.
Church was good, about running with fire.
I had dinner with Sis Elaine at Macs, and would you believe her mum is only 21 years older than her?? LOL. And then whenever they go out people will mistake them for sisters. Haha.
Jo was being a little bit over motherly to err...well Eugene. LOL. And then she was trying to get him to sit down cuz he was sick and she was pulling his hand and Chet and Mo were like, "WHOO!! Hold hands!" Haha. I was kinda amused by Eugene's look on the face when they said that. We played the finger game. It was fun but Joelle Yong kept on taking her hands away when we wanted to tap her fingers. LOL.
When I got home I felt really tired, and my lips are super dry and I've got a running nose, and my whole body feels slightly hot. HOT AS IN FEVERISH HOT. Rawr. I slept at 1 last night.
TIRED.
STORMcity!;
- 8:54 am
Thursday, July 27, 2006
2. When is the next time you will have sex?FYI, i haven't had it, and i don't intend to do so, at least not in the near future(which means more than 10 years.HURHURHUR.)
3. What's a word that rhymes with "DOOR"?four, floor, more, whore. haha. i'm just stating everything that comes to mind and it's nothing personal.
4. Favorite planet?earth, the only one i've been to.
5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your mobile?i don't have any missed calls at the moment.
6. What is your favorite ringtone on your phone?the time has come-hillsong united. actually i recorded it, but still, it's a great song(:
7. What kinda shirt you have on?cross tee.it's covering my shorts.
8.What do you "label" yourself?nothing.
9. Name the brand of shoes you're currently wearing?i don't wear shoes in the house.
10. Bright or Dark Room?depends
11. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you?abby?hmms. quiet LOL.
12. If you're alone in a room with two beds, which one do you sleep on? the more comfortable one, obviously.
13. What were you doing at midnight last night?reading Where Rainbows End. nice;D
14. What did your last text message say that you received on your mobile? Xue, what time is cross today?-from jadey.
15. Where is your letter box?outside the lobby.
16. What's a word that you say a lot?i don't take note of these things.
17.Who told you he/she loved you last?my mom.
18. Last furry thing you touched?the moo moo on my bed.
19. How many drugs have you done in the last three days?none. i don't do drugs.
20. How many rolls of film do you need to get developed?my camera is digital. how do you find non-digital cmas nowadays?
21. Favorite age you have been so far?13. may not have been perfect, but you can't change time and i love being 13.(:
22. Your worst enemy?hmms. i have people i don't like but no worst enemies.
23. What is your current desktop picture? IGNYTE wallpaper.
24. What was the last thing you said to someone?what are we having for dinner?
25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly?million bucks. need i say? anyway i'm scared of heights.
26. Do you like someone?no.not anymore and i'm enjoying my singlehood! HAHA.
27. The last song you listened to?Drops of Jupiter-Train
28. If the last person you spoke to was getting shot at, would you jump in front of the bullet?depends on who it is.
29. If you could punch one person in the face who would it be?the examiner that i'll be having on my piano exam next wednesday. and if he fails me i'll probably do more. x)
30. What is the closest object to your left foot?the CPU of the computer.
I stab Benn, Gid, Ju and whoever who wants to do it.
STORMcity!;
- 6:39 pm
Say piano again and I might go mad. SO, I will NOT talk about the freaking instrument. And the freaking exam that's next Wednesday.
Can you believe that we have E-learning for P.E. even??? Like for testing our heart rate and whatever. And, surprise surprise, the quiz was given and set by Mr Kevin Khoo. So freaky eh.
Yesterday Gid and David met up for lunch and they wanted to come visit me at my house and I had to tell them that my mom was at home. LOL
I've finally unlinked Ju's
blog. HAHA! But if I post fast enough it won't show, so yeah. Nothing to worry about.
Honestly, I can't wait till I take the grade 8 piano exam. NO MORE LIFE RUINING PIANO! And I am definitely not taking diploma. Who knows if I can even pass grade 7?? HUR HUR HUR.
STORMcity!;
- 11:06 am
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
LOL.
"Jesus we're living for your name;
We'll never be ashamed of you.
Our praise and all we are today;
TAKE TAKE TAKE IT ALL!!"
I'm living for His name, now and forever!(:
Our class party at Pizza Hut was okay. We arrived late because of guitar, and everyone already finished eating. And I had to pay $5 for one slice of Hawaiian pizza. No hard feelings though. ;D The brownies were really nice, and Sher and gang were obsessed with WEI XIANG their hippo. LOL.
And I just realised that I know all the chords from Majesty (Here I Am), I just can't switch chords fast enough!!
Okay so random. LOL.
STORMcity!;
- 12:21 pm
Sunday, July 23, 2006
| VIOLET |
You surround yourself with art and music and are constantly driven to express yourself. You often daydream. You prefer honesty in your relationships and believe strongly in your personal morals.
find your inner PIE @ stvlive.com
STORMcity!;
- 9:45 am
| Your Eyes Should Be Brown |
 What's hidden behind your eyes: A tender heart |
What Color Should Your Eyes Be?
| You Communicate With Your Ears |
 |
How Do You Communicate?
| Caffe Vanilla Frappuccino |
 |
What Flavor Frappuccino Are You?
| You Should Spend Your Summer at the Beach |
 |
Where Should You Spend Your Summer?
STORMcity!;
- 9:27 am
Yesterday I went out with Benn and Dan, and it was fun(: We saw Isaac there so he was following us around, and in the end we treated him like our butler. So we were tryinig on bags, and we took every colour and put it on him, and when we wanted to try it on we would take it from him. Then in the end, the shop assistant came up to him and said, "Um, do you want me to take it for you?" Isaac, "YES PLEASE." Haha.
I ended up buying a pair of Ripples and a Ripcurl bag, and rushed down to church for that one hour of service.
Service was really good. Everything, the music, the presence. I started crying, and then later we had to go for the opening day thing at 4. After one whole week of missing God's presence, of ups and downs and just wanting to cry more in His arms, I had to be taken away from the place. It had to be taken away.
WHY? It just seemed so unreasonable and contradicting. The people who didn't have commitments didn't even get picked. And when we went to ask our teachers and told them we had church commitments, they said, "Well, you have to compromise."
The irony??? The sermon yesterday was about NO COMPROMISE!
pissed. VERY.
I wasn't satisfied. Taking me away during a wonderful service?
ARGH.
STORMcity!;
- 9:05 am
Friday, July 21, 2006
"Victory belongs to those who believe in it the most and those who believe in it the longest."-Pearl Harbour
And somehow I was wondering why things don't happen to us like that in Pearl Harbour. Not the war. The other stuff. The sweet stuff.
Then I realised that, I have so much. Fun, laughter. But still now I feel really empty. I'm tired, I feel like crap. And this week my emotions have been up and down. I was let down, and later lifted up again, but I keep telling myself to stop falling for it. But I can't. And later I just feel stupid. and tired. And empty.
I haven't been going back to God. Maybe it's just time for me to run into His arms again. And leave everything, to Him. let Him remind me who I to Him.
Ad last week as Iwas running my 8 km, I started to sing in my heart "I serve a God" (I serve a God who is faithful He will never fail...) And later as I finished the run I realised what kept me running in there. Not the encouragements, yeah partly. But then I realised it was the faithful presence of God.
I miss my God. I miss getting His presence and crying at the altars for no reason at all. I miss being in His embrace, feeling His love.
But He was always there for me.
I just didn't feel it.
STORMcity!;
- 9:23 pm
I dont watch TV these days.
I wear glasses or contact lenses.
I love to play video games.
I've tried marijuana.
I have been in a threesome.
I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.
I believe honesty is usually the best policy.
I curse sometimes
I have changed a lot mentally over the last year.
I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.
I'm TOTALLY smart.
I've broken someone's bones
I'm paranoid sometimes.
I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
I need money right now
I LOVE sushi.
I talk really,really fast.
I have long hair.
I have lost money in Las Vegas.
I have at least one sibling. 2 younger bros =S
I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past.
I couldn't survive without Caller I.D I lived 13 whole years without caller ID. and i'm still surviving!
I like the way i look. HAHA. sometimes.
I am usually pessimistic.
I have a lot of mood swings.
I have a hidden talent. I wish, heh.
I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar i have.
I have a lot of friends. I think so. LOL.
I am currently single.
I have pecked someone of the same sex. I know someone who almost did it!!
I enjoy talking on the phone.
I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants.
I love to shop Favourite pasttime!
Enjoy window shopping EW. are you kidding.
I would rather shop than eat.
I don't hate anyone.
I'm a pretty good dancer.
I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.
I have a cell phone. haha. deprived me.
I believe in God. definitely. now, and i always will(:
I watch MTV on a daily basis.
I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.
I've rejected someone before. Rejected someone before, been rejected before.
I have no idea what i want to do for the rest of my life.
I want to have children in the future No thanks
I have changed a diaper before.
I've called the cops on a friend before.
I'm not allergic to anything. As far as I know, i'm not.
I have a lot to learn.
I have been with someone at least 10 years older or younger.
I am shy around the opposite sex. HAHA! depends on WHO. haha.
I have tried alcohol before.
I have made a move on a friend's significant other or crush in the past.
I own the "South Park" movie.
I would die for my best friends.
I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza.
I have used my sexuality to advance my career.
I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all.
Halloween is awesome because you get free candy.
I watch Spongebob Squarepants and i like it. I still have a kid in me(:
I am happy at this moment Yeah, quite i guess
I'm obsessed with guys. HAH. what kind?
I study for tests most of the time.
I tie my shoelaces differently from anyone I've ever met.
I am comfortable with who I am right now. I may not like how i look, but there's nothing I can do about it so i might as well get used to it;D
I have more than just my ears pierced.
I walk barefoot wherever i can.
I have jumped off a bridge.
I love sea turtles
I spend ridiculous money on makeup.
Plan on achieving a major goal/dream.
I'm proficient in a musical instrument.
I worked at McDonald's restaurant.
I hate office jobs.
I love sci-fi movies.
I think water rules. water all the way!
I went college out of state.
I like sausages.
I love kisses. and hugs too(:
I fall for the worst people.
I adore bright colours.
I can't live without black eyeliner.
I don't know why the hell i just did this stupid thing.
I usually like covers better than originals.
I can pick up things with my toes
I can't whistle.
I can move my tongue in waves, much like a snakes slither.
I have ridden/owned a horse.
I still have every journal I've ever written in.
I can't stick to a diet. nope, i can't. resisting temptation was never my best trait.
I talk in my sleep.
I try to forget things by drowning them out with loads of distractions
Climbing trees is a brilliant past-time.
I have jazz in my blood.
I wear a toe ring
I have a tattoo.
I can't stand at LEAST one person that i work with. BUT now i don't mind her THAT much.
I am a caffeine junkie. coffee bean, whee!
I cosplay or know what cosplaying is.
I have been to over 15 conventions.
I will collect anything, and the more nonsensical the better.
I'm an artist.
I only clean my room when necessary.
I like a person of the same sex
I love being happy. who doesn't?
I am an adrenaline junkie.
I shall so-called STAB shanice, gabriel (muthu), delise and whoever who wants to do this(:
STORMcity!;
- 10:50 am
Nicknames: xue (i think that's the only one.)
Name spelled backwards: re eux
Name without vowels: xr (HAHAHA)
Name without consonants: what's consonants?LOL
Birthday: 8 Jan 1993
Ethnicity: chinese =/
Glasses or contacts: glasses. i want LASIK! x)
Hair color: black
Hair length: shoulder length
Hair style: depends on my mood and whether my hair decides to back out on me.
Pets:none, i don't want any.
*Favourite*
Animal: none in particluar, i guess i'm not really an animal person.
Band: nickleback, planetshakers, the veronicas, hillsong united band
Brand name for clothes: lots to say all.
Brand name for shoes: U.R.S, adidas, converse.
Candy: snickers, gummy bears, pralines(belgian chocolates). YUMM
Cereal: froot looops!!
Colour: depends on my mood
Cookie: famous amos, chocolate chips.who cares if they have loads of calories?they're GOOD.
Day: saturday(:
Disney character:piglet all the way!
Drink: coffee bean's caramel ice blended
Fast food place: macs. hAHA.
Food: lagsane. the more overnights it's kept the better.
Holiday: christmas WHEE.
Ice cream flavor: cookies and cream.
Month: jan, dec, jun.
Number: 7 and 8
Perfume: i prefer deodorant. you'll still stink with perfume.
Pie flavor: beef and chicken. the beef pies in melbourne are SUPER.
Pizza topping: hawaiin.
Radio station: power 98 and 98.7
Restaurant: sofia in melbourne!! really nice food with nice ice cream. (:
Subject in school: i used to love math but now i'm not so sure.
Type of music: any kind.
Type of sandwich: homemade.
*Of all your friends...*
The best advisor: GOD, benn and gid.
The best hair: benn. it needs a cut though (tumour LOL)
The best handwriting: davelle(:
The dirtiest mind: kevin. LOL
The funniest: esther ah ma, jadey, chet
The loudest: shanice wins hands down!
The most good looking: benn, abby, ariel, delise. TSK everyone la.
The most trusting: benn and gid and peiru.
The nicest eyes: abby i think.HAHA.
The shortest: don't wannt offend anyone, so i'll keep this to myself.
The smartest: ariel, delise.
The tallest: benn!
*HAVE-YOU-EVERs*
Asked out a crush: nope
Been on stage: yep. and i freaked out presenting in front of the whole sec one cohort.
Been scared to get a shot: not really.
Cheated on a test: ting xie counts?
Cried during a movie: PEARL HARBOUR WHEN JOSH HARTNETT DIED.
Felt like you didn't belong: yeah. and it's tiring.
Fought a black belt: huh.
Gone to camp: yeah, since p1. the best was infused though(:
Kept a New Year's resolution: hardly.
Kept a secret from everyone: yeah.
Pushed all the buttons on an elevator:no i left my brother to do that.
Stolen anything: HAHA.
Told a guy you liked him:nope but he kinda guessed. LOL
Won a trophy: yeah, for sports carnival. and i didn't even do anything!haha.
Written a love poem: i HATE poetry btw.
*The Last...*
CD listened to: Hillsong United-United we stand. best album ever listened to.
Movie watched: R.V. I MUST WATCH POTC!!
Person that's called you: grace
Person who saw you cry: no one, probably my table in school and some people around. and God.
Person you went to the mall with: ariel. and tomorrow with BENN! yay(:
Song listened to: Unfaithful- Rihanna
Thing you ate: noodles for dinner.
Thing you drank: water.
*Yes or no*
Growing up scares me more than it should: sometimes. not what i expected it to be but that's life.
I adore getting mail:i'm more excited when i get snail mail!!
How do you eat an Oreo: many ways. open it up and lick the cream and eat both cookies, or just bite the thing whole.
How early do you wake up on school days: 6.20 am earliest. and that was only this morning.
If at first you don't succeed, do you try again: if i'm really passionate about it yeah.
If you could describe yourself in three words: I LOVE (MY) GOD.
Is your computer in your room: nope. sad case.
Is your room messy: most of the time
What are some of your favorite pig out foods: chocolate, chocolate and more chocolate. OREOS.
What color are your bedroom walls: four white walls. SO mundane.
What do you do when you're bored: com, stoning.
What makes you happy: knowing that someone loves me and that i'm not alone.
What makes you sad: rejection and loneliness. the feeling of being replaced and being the one replacing.
What's your favorite thing to do on the weekends: go to church(:
Worst feeling in the world: loneliness and emptiness. knowing that someone doesn't need you anymore cuz he/she's got someone else.
STORMcity!;
- 10:25 am
Thursday, July 20, 2006
I haven't logged in for almost a week! LOL. I'm tired...Haha. GEOG IS REALLY BORING AND I FAILED GEOG.
STORMcity!;
- 5:14 pm
Monday, July 17, 2006
I HATE THIS.
STORMcity!;
- 9:21 am
Friday, July 14, 2006
Anyway, Norman got out. HAHA. High and dry.
We had to watch Pleasantville in Lit. today. It's really funny because the guy kept on saying, "Honey, I'm HOME!" In the first part of the movie, and later everytime we would beat him to saying, "Honey, I'm HOME!" HAHA. And we watched a bit of Pearl Harbour in Values Ed!
I love Pearl Harbour. And it's so sad that Danny (JOSH HARTNETT!) died in the end, trying to save Ben Affleck. I can't remember his character's name. Oh yeah. RAFE. His best friend! I almost cried when they brought out Danny's coffin.
Oh well. Not all good things last, do they? NOPE. They don't. In the end, everything fades away. And then you have a big blank space.
Of NOTHING.
I ADORE KAKA, BRANDON ROUTH, JOSH HARTNETT, AND LAHM!
Ballack looks like a weirded version of Nick Lachey. That was so random. Masking up what I'm feeling right now? Nope. Maybe. Heck, I do what I want.
Oh yeah I forgot to say: PARIS HILTON CAN'T DANCE FOR NUTS.
STORMcity!;
- 9:30 pm
Thursday, July 13, 2006
He insulted his mother and sister!!! Heh if I had a brother who would head-butt someone in my defence, I think it'd be so sweet. LOL.
STORMcity!;
- 10:35 pm
Today in Lit., the number ones had to act a play of the Gamma Rays book. It was SO FUNNY. The lighting effects, actresses, everything. Especially Ah Ma as Tillie going, "Atom atom. What a beautiful word." When the torch light was shining on her face.
Nothing much has happened, just that I'm feeling the same. Same feelings, different people. I'm blabbering, don't bother.
Should have kept my mouth shut from the start.
STORMcity!;
- 10:23 pm
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
Yesterday for cross we had to go for the track nationals to see Tiff run, and the stupid bus uncle who was supposed to fetch us home came 1 hour late. So irritating. I was sleeping on the bus and Becks woke me up. GAHH.
I just realised that when I'm tired, it's not in the day but in the night when the tiredness really really shows. Though now, I am very tired. Who knows what will happen tonight. I'm really sick of going home. Going home just sucks. I have to see THEIR black faces and hear their loud and intentional sighs and complaints. Last night I accidentally fell asleep while doing my work and she told me to take and nap. I said no I wanted to finish my stuff first, and she complained that we three children couldn't do stuff on our own.
WHATEVER! Really, it's sickening and stupid and senseless. She can't even see that the reason we can't have peace is because of her INCESSANT NAGGING and SIGHS. Yeah, blame your kids for what YOU'RE causing. Isn't that what they all do? You try to please them and they just give you retarded sighs and complaints about what they hate about you. They complain that you're not as close to them before when THEY'RE actually the ones who don't even want to listen to what you say. Other kinds of THEMs treat their kids so well. They don't compare anything. You know a conversation I had with THEM at the dinner table?
HIM: Do you think **** is pretty?
ME: Yeah
HIM: Yeah, I think you are average-looking, but yeah she is quite.
SEE WHAT I MEAN? wWho says that to their kids? THEM, yeah. I thought it was only the perfect people who made me feel inferior, but who knew? THEY just joined the make Xue feel inferior and point out all her faults club. SMART MOVE.
STORMcity!;
- 11:07 am
Monday, July 10, 2006
I watched the match last night and ITALY WON! I'm not sure if I should be feeling happy or sad because, my loyalty still lies in Brazil!! The game was really rough though. ZIDANE WAS SO STUPID TO HEAD-BUTT THAT ITALY PLAYER!!! Oh well. I was completely zonked out. This morning I had the most horrible feeling ever. Groggy and all. UGH.
On saturday I forgot about the Idiot Test thing. I'm a 100% idiot, according to the idiotic Idiot Test. HAHA.
STORMcity!;
- 10:42 am
Sunday, July 09, 2006
Earlier part of the day was good. Service, Macs. Somehow when I got home things changed. You try everything to please THEM and they don't even appreciate it. I'm sick of it, sick of trying to please everyone.
The whole messaging thing just made me realise how nice it was to actually have someone to talk to. REALLY talk. I was feeling really lonely, yeah but talking to Gid made me feel much better and more cheered up. We haven't talked properly in a long time.(:
So before I went to bed, I guess I was feeling much better. I didn't watch the Germany vs Portugal match, I couldn't wake up. And this morning, my eyes are horribly swollen. Don't guess why.
"You are only limited by your mind. All you need to do is believe."
STORMcity!;
- 8:46 am
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
Somehow there's a time where you'll miss your old self. I miss my old self. I used to like studying, and now I think it's a waste of time. I used to be so passionate about the Gospel, now it's not that much anymore. I used to have a person I could really talk to, but now all are just friends. What about the 'best' in front?
The stupid cbox isn't working and all my tags are gone. Someone help them! Or rather help me. With the cbox. :(
STORMcity!;
- 3:53 pm
You're the one who walked right through on me
Now you're saying that you knew me
When I was INVISIBLE.
STORMcity!;
- 10:50 am
Macs isn't fun anymore, on our own at least. Somehow, people always think that you're not okay about something and they try all they can to guess what that thing is, but they don't see it's actually them. Whatever they say and do. And this feeling, in my opinion, just makes someone really lonely.
Mind you, loneliness is scary.
Anyway, I went out on monday, Youth Day and walked around in the hope of getting new shoes and a nice new bag, but to no avail. Only the shoes i got. These really nice pointy ones from URS. (: All the bags were somehow wrong, either they were really nice but had ugly braid straps or they were ugly but had normal straps. Sheesh!!! Next time they should have BAG ALTERATIONS other than jean alterations. They should have it!!! It'll be really worth it. Right Ariel??
School's boring. Let's not talk about it. I HATE BIO.
STORMcity!;
- 10:37 am
Sunday, July 02, 2006
Whatever la. I guess now it's Germany for me. :(
Yesterday cross was good! I ran 8km all the way, and I didn't stop, in 52 minutes! Whee. From not even running 6km without walking! Mr Quek shaked my hand and told me to keep it up 3 times. ;D
I was serving, and the worship was so good! Gahh. Nevermind. Later after service we sang Yeow a birthday cake. Danielle and Benn baked a cake for him, and he found a hair in it! Actually, he found a few hairs. and the guys were saying that if you ate the crust you would die of carbon poisoning. LOL.
We went to Jeann's house for Mg-nyte, and it was really fun. Sharing and everything. And Jeann's mugs and her beanbags are so nice!!! Especially the nice squishy green one that Abby hogged after Michy left. HAHA.
Shout Your Fame's tonight, and Jade hasn't gotten back to me yet. It's gonna be great, and I really hope she come and be blessed. (:
STORMcity!;
- 9:05 am